After reading the first few paragraphs of this unbelievable story from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, I was going to take the humorous route with this story, but after reading that during an altercation on a golf course in Fort Worth, Texas, a man was stabbed in the leg with the shaft of a golf club and likely severed his femoral artery, this doesn't seem much like a laughing matter.
After his threesome got the course marshal's permission to play through a slow foursome, Clay Carpenter got in a tussle with a golfer in said foursome. After a club was snapped in the scuffle, it stabbed Carpenter in the leg, causing what a 911 caller told the police was "like a faucet" of blood to spurt out of the wound.
Another man takes the phone (on the 911 call) and begs for a helicopter ambulance. "You understand, he has an artery?" he says. "He's about to die."
"It was spurting," he continues. "He was standing up, and we saw this blood coming out of his groin area. It was like a leaky faucet, it was so bad."
The Star-Telegram has the full account, but this should be a public service announcement for the hotheads on the links: chill out, bro.