How about Team USA’s 18.5-15.5 drubbing of its International counterparts in what had to be one of the most exciting finishes to a golf tournament ever seen on tape delay?
What a week! Muirfield Village provided a full slate of entertainment -- from Tiger Woods throwing his back out just to give captain Fred Couples a lovely parting gift for his third straight less-than-nail-biting win against another overmatched contingent of global players from almost everywhere but Europe; to a furry woodland creature hanging out in Davis Love III’s pocket and on Tiger’s neck; awkward throwback handshakes and other geeky celebratory rituals; Phil Mickelson’s wife helping Tiger’s sweetie out of a rut; and even a streaker to thank Freddie for all those years of service.
Yes, the 10th edition of the U.S. against the world had just about everything you could hope for to divert golf fans’ attention from the lame, off-year Ryder Cup-like exhibition that took place in between downpours on Jack Nicklaus’ soggy track.
Not to mention the relief the rewind of the day’s proceedings provided from those interminable 500+ yards Tony Romo racked up in a losing effort to the unbeatable Peyton Manning.
Because it’s always all about Tiger, why not start recalling the week that was in Dublin, Ohio, with the world No. 1?
Breaking bad (back): Woods tweaked his back, which has nagged him during the latter part of the season, on the 14th hole in Sunday’s singles finals. Thereafter, he had trouble bending down and with what Johnny Miller said was the toughest shot to hit when your back’s tightened up, the uphill lie. Still, Tiger gritted it out and nailed down, for the third straight time, the winning point for his pal Freddie.
"It's the same thing as it was at Barclays. Went out on me at 14 and from then on, it just kept getting worse," Woods told reporters after beating Richard Sterne, 1-up. "But, you know, hey, I got a point for our team so that's all that matters. We played a lot of holes and a lot of start, stopping the last couple days, so a lot of guys on our team are dinged up, and unfortunately I was one of them."
Woods clearly enjoyed himself all week, despite the owies in his back and having to fend off a potentially rabid rodent, which girlfriend Lindsey Vonn inexplicably decided would enjoy climbing all over the 14-time major champion. He’ll travel to China at the end of the month for an all-expenses-paid rematch with Rory McIlroy, from the "Where are they now?" files, head to Turkey in early November, and play host to McIlroy and a limited field of his other BFFs at the Northwestern Mutual World Challenge in California in December.
"I've never played three matches in a day before," Woods said. "So that was certainly our first yesterday, and it's been a long week and you know, I'm a little bit sore, and certainly I'm looking forward to not touching a club for a while."
Sammy T. Squirrel: Rocky the Flying’s distant cousin insinuated itself into assistant captain DL3's pocket and heart during the first day of play. Before setting him free in the wilds around Muirfield Village, Love, in a clumsy handoff worthy of Mark Sanchez' butt fumble, gave S.T. Squirrel -- who, of course, immediately upon release set up its own Twitter page -- to Vonn. Her finagling to remove Sammy from Love’s pocket was kind of uncomfortable to watch but when she deposited it on Tiger, well, that was just cringe-worthy.
That handshake and the ass-slap: Speaking of cringe-worthy, Matt Kuchar was unashamed to admit the "Fresh Prince" hand-slapping he and Tiger shared throughout Thursday’s successful four-ball stint was his idea. Kooch even went so far as to compare his 3-1 teammate with Carlton Banks, Will Smith’s nerdy cousin on the long-ago 1990s sitcom.
Then there was the Ryder Cup dream team of Keegan Bradley and his mentor, Phil, who achieved the impossible -- making the Kooch-Tiger high-five seem cool in comparison to their own yippees. Lefty kinda got into the love tap to his can but he wasn’t exactly expecting that punch to the chest.
Amy gives Lindsey a push: Gotta save Vonn’s knees for the Olympics, apparently, since Mickelson’s wife Amy gave a shove to the cart Tiger’s honey was riding around Muirfield in when it got stuck on a slope.
Skipping balls: No, it wasn’t a practice round for the Masters, when players earn the loudest roars from spectators/patrons by successfully skimming their ProV1s across the pond to the green on the par-3 16th. Sunday, it was just Phil being The Thrill and perhaps trying to inject some drama into the snooze-fest from the side of a hill. For sure, the glad-handing people's choice was anything but embarrassed, as NBC’s resident scold, Johnny Miller, claimed he should be after his errant tee shot on 14 ended up on that sidehill. In the never-ending annals of WWPD (What Would Phil Do?), the crowd-pleasing southpaw let it rip and watched as his ball hit a tree limb, headed for the brook and then walked on water to get to the other side.
Freddie enjoys streakers: Remember streaking? Golf fans of a certain age will recall when shedding one’s clothing and running naked through a sporting event was all the rage. Well, as our Brendan Porath observed on Sunday, golf had to do something to keep some eyeballs from tuning into the NFL and college football. And, judging by the U.S. captain’s signature laid-back reaction as the thong-clad woman raced by, Freddie didn’t seem to mind the distraction.
Korea in 2015! USA! USA!