Happy Birthday Michael Jordan! Plus: Miguel Cabrera's Mugshot And Moms From Bensonhurst

Today, a collection of randomness, beginning with some soliloquies to Michael Jordan on his birthday, and continuing on to Miguel Cabrera, Justin Bieber, and Joann from Bensonhurst.

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Happy Birthday Michael Jordan! Plus: Miguel Cabrera's Mugshot And Mom's From Bensonhurst

Hey, it's Michael Jordan's Birthday today! He's 48 years old, and king of the world the Charlotte Bobcats! He's still the greatest basketball player that ever lived, though, so his birthday is a perfect excuse to spend a few hours on YouTube reliving his most surreal moments.

There's also about a million different things to read as far as Jordan's concerned, but this essay, from Russ Bengtson at Slam Magazine, is one of my favorites:

Jordan didn’t leave much room for future players to build a legacy of their own. While those he emulated had fallen short or left things unfinished, Jordan didn’t. How do you build on a mansion? The game itself changed, and Jordan was the one who changed it. It’s hard to believe that any one player will ever usher in that sort of change again. Jordan defeated all the archetypes, expanded the game, created an archetype of his own (the basketball Terminator-a relentless cyborg covered in a thin human shell). It’s not even a question of whether anyone can equal his greatness-rather, is his greatness even one that can be equalled?

... But who knows? Maybe things will be viewed differently in the future. Maybe the LeBron/Wade/Chris Bosh Heat team does change the game in some fundamental way. Maybe 100 years from now, when the topic of the greatest is debated by people who never saw Michael or Kobe or LeBron play live, there will be a sense of objectivity that doesn’t-that can’t-exist in our time. After all, historians love to revise. Maybe when emotion is stripped away and careers are judged simply by the numbers, someone else will be viewed as the best there ever was, the best that ever will be.

But probably not.

And you could always just enjoy what Jon Bois called the greatest highlight reel ever, but this Nike commercial mash-up is probably the coolest Jordan video that emerged this year, so...

So Happy Birthday to the G.O.A.T.! Here's to hoping he's celebrates with golf, high stakes gambling, and strippers, just like every other year. But to all those people yelling "Speech! Speech!" at his party, I think we can all agree that's probably not a good idea.


  • It's also Jim Brown's birthday today, so here's a deleted scene from Any Given Sunday, where he follows Tony's inches speech with something a little more insane.
  • Miguel Carbrera got a DUI last night and the details from the arrest are pretty hilarious, but a little less awesome when you consider how many problems Cabrera's had with alcohol over the course of his career. Clearly, the dude needs some help. Having said that, this is the happiest, most angelic DUI mugshot you will ever see:


And finally, courtesy of Warming Glow, the most stereotypical Brooklyn mother of all time:

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