Jim Tressel, The Lying, Cheating Head Coach That Can't Get Fired

The Jim Tressel scandal at Ohio State just keeps getting better. Today we find out that Jim Tressel not only knew about the Terrelle Pryor violations, but he actively engaged in a cover-up that involved FBI agents, a slew of texts to Pryor, and not a single word to Ohio State.

The details emerge in all their scummy glory over at SBN's StoryStream, but the gist of the news is this: from the second he heard about Pryor's idiotic mistake, Tressel did everything he could to contain the situation from every angle. With the tipster, with Pryor, and even with an FBI agent.

What's most amazing is that among the people in power at Ohio State, they had to know that Tressel knew about all this stuff. If anything, he did them a favor by keeping the administration in the dark, and preserving plausible deniability with the NCAA.

So now the question becomes: Will Ohio State return the favor by saving Tressel's job? And if they do, then just what does a coach have to do to get fired? If Tressel's still at Ohio State next fall, how can anyone associated with Ohio State keep a straight face? The moral high ground doesn't really exist in college football, but you gotta admit, Jim Tressel sets about as horrible a precedent as anybody in the country.

Because it's one thing to be openly crooked and honest about it. That's what makes the SEC so much fun. But Tressel's probably the biggest hypocrite of all. If Ohio States him slide with all this, I don't know whether we should be angry or impressed by the arrogance.

Anyway, since we're on the subject, as pointed out by Bomani Jones on Twitter, this ESPN feature from 2004 provides an excellent glimpse into Tressel's background. It's not like Pryor was the first time we've entered this territory with him. For instance, here's the guy that Tressel allegedly introduced to his star quarterback back when he was coaching at Youngstown State:

Isaac's benefactor was Michael "Mickey" Monus, chairman of the university's board of trustees and a local hero in his own right. As the dazzling, if disheveled CEO of the rapidly expanding Phar-Mor discount drug store chain, he created thousands of local jobs. Sam Walton of Wal-Mart once called Monus the only businessman he feared, for he couldn't understand how the Youngstown-based company could open so many stores (300 in 33 states) so quickly. Walton would get his answer with a subsequent federal conviction: Monus was cooking the books, Enron-style. He remains in prison on corporate fraud crimes, his empire in shambles.

"I got a call from Mr. Tressel," Monus told a jury, "and I believe the call was that he wanted me to be introduced to Ray and to work out some kind of job for him."

The article focuses on Tressel's time at Youngtown as a microcosm that reflected on the Maurice Clarett scandal that was engulfing Ohio State back then. Today, all of it helps explain what's going on in Columbus now, when Tressel's quickly becoming an icon for college football corruption. If nothing else, his discussion of Clarett looks more ridiculous than ever:

"... I always revert to that motive of why these rules were made. They're not perfect, but I really think their intentions are steeped in what's good for the universities, what's good for the sport, what's good for the culture, and what's good for the kids."

Meanwhile, Someone Should Make Michael Irvin A Head Coach ASAP. Is it really so much to ask? If Jim Tressel can smarm his way to the top, then we can at least get the playmaker a spot at some mid-major program. Either that, or he can be a guest coach that just travels the country scaring the shit out of various high school and college football teams.

The Buzzworthy Teams Of The NBA Playoffs. Over at GQ, Bethlehem Shoals tapped the mastermind behind Hipster Runoff to break down the buzz surrounding some of the upstarts in the NBA playoffs. From Carles, a hipster's breakdown of NBA buzzworthiness:

If anything, I would say that a buzz team is a team from which we don't expect greatness during the current playoffs—but shows "great promise for the next 3 seasons and beyond." Young nucleus of "good kids" + "a few veterans who may or may not have been there before." A coach who has instilled a genuine "team concept" and defensive/high-octane offense brand of basketball. A franchise whose team has "taken on the identity of the city." A team that can generate a good stream of memes for NBA bloggers.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, and also from GQ: This is how you keep a marriage healthy.

Roger Goodell, Still Doing His Best To Confuse Football Fans. Why talk about how the NFL Owners are trying to leverage their way into an extra billion dollars from NFL players when you can talk about Roger Goodell taking a test for human growth hormone?

From USA Today:

Q: In the past, the validity of the HGH tests have been a concern. What is it that makes you feel the testing has improved enough that you'll have a reliable test that needs to be incorporated as part of your drug policy?

RG: "I just had my HGH tested in the last couple of weeks. I wanted to see what was involved in the testing. They came in here at 9:30 in the morning, completely unannounced, and I went through the procedure. The same one our players would go through."

So in case you were wondering whether Roger Goodell's taking PEDs... wait, none of you were ever wondering that? You just want him to end this goddamn lockout? Oh. Hmm.

Apropos Of Nothing, We Should All Feel Bad Andrew Bynum... And Chris Paul is terrifying.

Bynum wasn't Paul's only victim on Sunday. Here's a scene from a great recap of Paul's performance Sunday, courtesy of SBN's Rohan Cruyff (best pseudonym ever):

...The defining moment, the clear demarcation between settling for a solid 20/10 and gunning for something more memorable came at the minute mark of the second quarter. Paul unleashed a stirring left to right crossover to blow by Kobe Bryant for an uncontested layup. Even more telling was the buildup to the play - Paul aborted his first move to unassertively back-pass to New Orleans' man of the half, Ariza. But immediately, he demanded the ball back, ready to go at Bryant once more.

See? Chris. Paul. Ain't. Scared. And that's why he's so terrifying to Lakers fans right now.

Here's Jay-Z and Kanye In Paris. Because their life is much cooler than yours.

Finally, This Is Why Parks And Recreation Is Awesome. Midway through Thursday night's episode, Aziz Ansari dropped this on the world. Courtesy of GQ, it lives on for eternity:

SANDOOZLES AND COOL BLASTERZZZZZ FOR EVERYONE.

Also: this is why Tom Haverford's quietly challenging Jack Donaghy for the most awesomely ridiculous character on TV. Don't you wish you could just watch his life like, 24 hours-a-day?