Albert Pujols is suing Jack Clark because the former slugger (Clark) said on his short-lived radio show that the former slugger (Pujols) "definitely" used performance-enhancing drugs.
Because of that, we get a settlement offer that includes ... whatever this is:
Perhaps I am speaking out of turn, but I would strongly discourage the concurrent use of both Viagra™ and Ben Gay™.
Huh. The whole offer is here, and it's amusing, even if it hurts your brain at times.