Max Stassi is an Astros prospect who made his major-league debut on Tuesday. He'd been waiting his whole life for this. And he got a hit. Good for him. His first hit.
Gosh. The hit was cool, though. The hit was cool.
Of course hits are great, but Stassi is supposed to be a slugger. An RBI man. When was he going to get his first RBI?
He got it on Wednesday! Congratulations on your first major-league RBI, Max St...
Gaahhhhhh. You should probably stay away from baseball for a little bit, Max Stassi. There are puppetmasters in powerful places trying to tell you something.