Where would we be without the good glove men who can't hit their own body weight? I'll tell you where: Nowheresville. Not that all of these players are hopeless with the stick. Some are youngsters, just getting their feet wet in the majors. Others, because of age or a capricious God, just aren't having a terrific 2013.
If Andrelton Simmons and Darwin Barney played for the same team, two things would happen: 1) someone would write a poem about them* and 2) Baseball Tonight would become the highest-rated television show in history. Let's make this happen, Lords of Baseball. "Best interests of baseball," and all that.
* Hopefully using the word "gonfalon."
* FanGraphs' Fielding Runs Above Average, based on UZR.