Most people are right-handed. You can depend on a right-handed person. A right-handed person is a good neighbor, definitely not a bomb-thrower.
A lefty, on the other hand, you have to watch out for. You wouldn't let a left-handed person do your taxes or babysit your kids, for instance. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.
But the worst type, by far, are the ambidextrous. A left-handed person you can at least trust to be himself. A switch-hitter, though, can't make up his mind. He's a squish. God save us if one of these gutless losers ever attained high office.
Anyway, here are the best switch-hitters in baseball history, as chosen by the Commissioner's blue ribbon panel of experts:
|C||Ted Simmons||1968-1988||50.3||Probably the best catcher not in the Hall of Fame, after Piazza.|
|1B||Eddie Murray||1977-1997||68||One of only four players with 3,000 hits, 500 homers.|
|2B||Frankie Frisch||1919-1937||70.1||He and Chipper are only players to hit .300 from each side of plate.|
|3B||Chipper Jones||1993-2012||85.2||Only switch-hitter to see through Warren Report hoax.|
|SS||Ozzie Smith||1978-1996||78.5||Had the best season without any home runs in the post-dead-ball era.|
|LF||Tim Raines||1979-2002||68.8||Stole 808 bases with 85% success rate. Greatest base stealer ever?|
|CF||Mickey Mantle||1951-1968||109.7||Reached base at .512 clip in 1957 and still didn't lead the league!|
|RF||Carlos Beltran||1998-present||67.6||Had 1.557 OPS across two postseason series in 2004.|
|UT||Pete Rose||1963-1986||79.4||Played during six different presidential administrations.|
|SP||Kid Nichols||1890-1906||116.6||The first great overhand pitcher? Was youngest ever to 300 wins.|
|SP||Robin Roberts||1948-1966||83.1||Led NL pitchers in WAR every year from 1950 thru 1954.|
|SP||Ted Lyons||1923-1946||67.2||Only Hall of Fame pitcher with more walks than strikeouts.|
|SP||Mordedai Brown||1903-1916||55.1||Some incredible century-old footage of him pitching here.|