Early in Friday night's London Olympics opening ceremonies, actor Kenneth Branagh opened by reading a passage from Shakespeare's "The Tempest." The lines, which are sure to warm the cockles of any true Englishman, are below.
Hello, I am Kenneth Branagh,
And they handed me this book to hold as a prop while I was up here.
It is almost definitely the kind of book you would read on the shitter.
It's too big to be a regular book that you would just read in the living room or something.
Maybe an Onion anthology. Could even be a guide to how to identify leaves.
I don't know, something light and easy-to-read. That's important when you're crapping.
Have as many Olympics as you can.
- William Shakespeare's "The Tempest"