The Opening Ceremony is featuring droves of downtrodden workers carrying sections of fencing down a makeshift "English countryside." This is basically exactly what the equestrian events would look like if horses were abolished.
And then, all of a sudden, VICTORIAN TOP HAT GANGS OF NEW YORK-STYLE BRITISH GANGS!
OH NO! LOOK OUT! THE ABRAHAM LINCOLNS ARE WIELDING THEIR KUNG FU!
ADVANCE TOWARD US, KNAVE. ADVANCE TOWARD US.
For more on the Olympics, visit our dedicated 2012 London Olympics hub.