It has been clearly established that we here at SB Nation are too poor to be able to compete in -- let alone appreciate -- equestrian Olympic events like dressage and eventing. That's fine. Not everyone can be
the secret CEO of Bain well-off enough to afford a million-dollar dancehorse. You know who can, though? Rich Fellers.
Yes, Rich Fellers. A member of the United States equestrian team. Seriously. His name is "Rich Fellers," and he has the most perfect name-to-event ratio in Olympic history. Because he's a rich feller. Get it? Here, Reddit even gave us photographic evidence:
So, of course, this got us to thinking of what would be some other perfect Olympic names. Our shortlist:
- Spike Volleyballman
- "Legs" Hurdleton
- Divey Splashworth
- Lee Ping (so many track and field possibilities!)
- Archer Bowman
- Fencing Von Lungestab
- Teri Polo
For more on the Olympics, check out SB Nation's London 2012 Olympics hub.