#Lookit

Mark Cuban wants to get David Stern drunk

Patrick McDermott

And we agree, wholeheartedly.

The David Stern farewell tour has been a fun one. I feel like fans of most leagues hate their commissioner: Bud Selig is a doddering old man whose greatest legacies will be failing to do anything about steroids until it was too late and calling the All-Star Game a tie, then overcorrecting by making the All-Star Game a factor in the outcome of the World Series. Roger Goodell has cemented the NFL's status as a money machine, but doesn't seem to have a good, altruistic bone in his body. And, well, everybody hates Gary Bettman.

But David Stern? Sure, he's done some jerky things that have gotten some people mad at him, but at the end of the day, he's a likeable little lawyer with a sense of humor. Watching him giggle at the fans' boos at this year's NBA draft before they turned into a standing ovation was pretty spectacular. It was clear that with a few months until his retirement, he's just having some fun.

So I can see where Mark Cuban is coming from here:

WE MUST GET DAVID STERN DRUNK. I think we should have a roast of David Stern where all the figures of the past 30-ish years of NBA history -- owners, players, whoever we can get, and the ghost of Greg Giraldo -- get on stage and rip on Stern as he quaffs heavy.

And then Stern comes out and just RIPS, like he's been waiting decades to do. Industry secrets, extremely off-color jokes using the word "lockout" -- the whole kit and kaboodle.

And then, and only then, can he can disappear into retirement. Adam Silver has big shoes to fill.

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