Kevin Durant hails from the Washington D.C. area. They like to eat blue crabs down there, and so does Kevin. As such, his new sneakers bear a pattern inspired by Callinectes sapidus, the blue-tinged creature DMV folks consume all summer long:
- I assume the folks at Nike already thought of this, but these sneakers shouldn't come in a normal box. You should have to crack a shell with a hammer, dig through mounds of seasoning, and scoop out some "mustard" before trying the shoes on. It's not a real blue crab experience unless you're licking Old Bay out of tiny, bleeding shell wounds when it's done. Oh, and you have to dip the shoelaces in butter sauce or they won't fit through the eyelets. Wait, do the sneakers smell/taste like crab? They should. Thanks. Good meeting, everyone.
- Are signature sneakers based on the cuisine of the player's birthplace a new thing? Because I have some ideas. Kobe Bryant Philly Cheesesneaks! J.R. Smith Taylor Ham and Egg Hyperdunks! Raymond Felton's RF 2 Pulled Porks! Derrick Rose Deep Dish 4's (More like giant socks, really. You have to put them on with a fork)! Viacheslav Kravtsov Air Borschts! Enes Kanter Sneakebabs (the shoes come pierced by a stick)!
And so forth. Please share your own ideas. I'm very okay with regional food-themed sneakers becoming a thing. I'm also hungry now.