#Lookit

Alabama should ditch state bird it never stops singing about, advises Slate

Dave Martin

NOTE: Alabamans, we are not the ones who recommended getting rid of your state bird and thus the song that goes with it.

Slate gonna Slate. But you've gone too goddamn far this time, Slate. In a Slate thing telling all 50 states what to do about their state birds, Slate Slated as follows:

Yellowhammer? C'mon. I Asked Jeeves and it told me that Yellowhammer is some backwoods name for a yellow-shafted flicker. The origin story dates to the Civil War, when some Alabama troops wore yellow-trimmed uniforms. Sorry, but that's dumb, mostly because it's just a coincidence and has nothing to do with the actual bird. If you want a woodpecker, go for something with a little more cachet, something that's at least a full species.

What it should be: red-cockaded woodpecker

/TRUMPETS

HEY SLATE

/TRUMPETS

HEY SLATE

/TRUMPETS

HEY SLATE

PLEASE SHUT UP 'FORE YOU GET STABBED

RAMMER JAMMER AIN'T SHIT THAT RHYMES WITH RED-COCKERDOODLED WOODPECKER GIVE 'EM HELL ALABAMA

[REPEAT]

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