#Lookit

Wiping Out should be a Winter Olympics event

Perfectly-timed photos of New Yorkers wiping out in the snow is your new sports religion.

It snowed nearly a foot in New York City, so photographer Timothy Clary set up at a 5th Ave intersection and took some splendid wipeout photos for Getty Images. He is a hero.

Let's celebrate with ice skating-style judging! And we're using the 6.0 System, not that New Judging System business. Get real.

(Honorable Mention) This poor schmoe, 5.2

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Winter Olympics sport she could play, if not Wiping Out: Actual speed skating

(Honorable Mention)  This helpless sucker, 5.4

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Winter Olympics sport she could play, if not Wiping Out: Ice dancing.

(Bronze) This half-balanced simpleton, 5.6

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Winter Olympics sport she could play, if not Wiping Out: Hockey goalie.

(Silver) This sad sack, 5.8

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Winter Olympics sport he could play, if not Wiping Out: Curling. People hip enough to ride bikes are probably hip enough to have attempted curling, ironically.

(Gold) This bag carrying champion, 6.0

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Winter Olympics sport she could play, if not Wiping Out: The Olympic torch, spirit of the games, herself. This woman is everything.

(h/t Wall Street Journal)

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