A lot of athletes decorate their homes with photos of themselves, which is a fine thing to do. For instance, Chase Blackburn hung up a new collage of action photos today. That's cool. There's a problem, though, with Blackburn's picture and with most images of people playing contact sports: Other people. Offensive players in most sports are constantly near defenders, and vice versa. Any photo of you, Excellent Athlete With Walls That Aren't Going To Decorate Themselves, is bound to include some other jabronis in it. Retired NBA veteran Kenny Anderson has the solution:
My favorite NBA ,Pic Kenny vs Kenny pic.twitter.com/527ernIAPX— Kenny Anderson (@chibbs_1) January 28, 2014
Look closely. It's really Kenny vs. Kenny. Not only is every stop in Anderson's journeyman career represented here, but in surreal self-opposing settings. Hornets Kenny contests Blazers Kenny's jumper. Pacers Kenny tries to keep up with Celtics Kenny on a dribble drive. Playing both the star and co-star, hero and antihero in one's own photos eliminates the annoyance of commemorating someone else's moment. This painting is all about Kenny, and it's brilliant. Some other photos athletes should hang in their homes:
- Randy Moss mooning a Lambeau Field crowd full of angry Randy Mosses while Randy Moss whistles him for a penalty and (when you push a button on the wall) Randy Moss chastises him aloud.
- Allen Iverson stepping over Allen Iverson.
- Alonzo Mourning punching Alonzo Mourning while a tiny Alonzo Mourning in a suit clutches Alonzo Mourning's leg.
- Seabiscuit riding Seabiscuit.
- Pedro Martinez pushing a smaller, much older version of himself to the ground.
- Frederic Weis jumping clear over Frederic Weis' head.
Feel free to add more ideas in the comments. I'll be over here framing my photo of myself holding a baby version of myself.