Thank you, Jezebel, for bringing Molly Schuyler's feat of amazingness to our attention. The professional eater took down a 72-ounce steak (for those of you not on the metric system, that's FOUR POINT FIVE POUNDS) in two minutes and 44 seconds, establishing a new world record. The previous world record? Six minutes, 48 seconds, by some dude. The math is clear: women are empirically better than men.
Molly Schuyler, you are our hero. No one has ever been more impressive (or more American) than you. Bravo.
NOW LET'S ALL GO EAT STEAKS.