Vice has a show where brilliant chef-turned-rapper Action Bronson goes around the world and eats delicious foods called "Fuck, That's Delicious." It is great, because Action Bronson is great and delicious foods are great.
Today an episode was released where Bronsolino eats hot dogs across the globe, and part of that involves a visit to Chicago, to go to recently closed sausage emporium/heaven Hot Doug's -- "each dog is specifically hand-crafted, like a snowflake, or like p---y" -- and to The Wiener's Circle, famous for having extremely rude interactions between staff and customers. He also takes a detour to eat at Mike Ditka's Steakhouse, where he meets Ditka, and we learn that Mike Ditka and Action Bronson have literally nothing to talk about.
The two sit together, with Ditka's wife, for about two minutes, and say enough words that I feel comfortable transcribing them all here, along with pictures of Ditka being incredibly tattooed that he has to spend time with an overweight, tattooed, heavily bearded rapper.
Ditka: "Now, what is this for? You have a food show?"
Bronson: Yeah. We have a food show on Vice... you know... Vice is a big media network... I'm sure they already told you the name...
(Note: It is clear Ditka has never heard of Vice, does not know the name of the show, and hates Action Bronson.)
Bronson: Me, I'm... I used to be a chef. I hurt myself in the kitchen. I broke my leg, and I just somehow became a rapper.
(This line of conversation actually causes Ditka to drop a napkin.)
Ditka: I got a singer here, but he doesn't do rap. He does Sinatra.
Bronson: I love Sinatra too. That's my grandfather's music.
(Silence. Food comes. A hot dog arrives.)
Ditka: If you can pick it up, you're a good man!
Bronson: (picks it up) Yup!
Ditka: Go!
(More food comes. Everybody eats in silence.)
Bronson: This is great stuff! Do you eat like this every night?
Ditka: No.
(A slew of people say hello to Mike Ditka.)
Bronson: You're nobody in Chicago when you're sitting next to Coach. When you come to New York, I'll take you out.
Ditka: (A look of silence, disgust, and dispair so profound that I literally have to show you a photo to describe it, because no amount of words can capture how disinterested and offended Mike Ditka is by the idea that if he were to go to New York, he would have to spend a night hanging out with Action Bronson:)
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