This is the story of the new and far less murderous looking Pierre the Pelican.
Introducing your new mascot Pierre the Pelican! pic.twitter.com/CieVTs3sMt— New Orleans Pelicans (@PelicansNBA) October 31, 2013
This is not good, because fans -- especially kids and tipsy middle-aged people -- are supposed to love and embrace their team's mascot. Who could embrace Pierre? Who could love him?
So the Pelicans did what any reasonable team would do: they claimed he broke his beak in a mascot pick-up game.
They put out a press release, gave fans an injury report -- one way more detailed than anything the team has offered up for an actual Pelicans player this season -- and said Pierre would have reconstructive beak surgery. Apparently this involves chainsaws.
When Pierre was in recovery, the Pelicans released this nightmarish photo, which certainly did not help the cause of making the mascot less likely to send a chill down someone's spine.
On Wednesday, Pierre re-debuted.
He now looks like a pelican. He can no longer be described as a murderbird.
The team has talked to the media about the mascot do-over, but has yet to break character. From the New Orleans Times-Picayune:
"Any good ornithologist (zoologist who studies birds) will tell you that a young Pelican is constantly evolving!" said a team source, who has knowledge of the planned redesign.
New Orleans hosts All-Star Weekend beginning Friday. In a way it's sad that Original Pierre won't be a part of it: he has defined the premiere season of the Pelicans, for better or worse. But at the same time, thank God that monster is gone. Southern Louisiana can finally sleep with both eyes closed.