Ice dancing! It's like figure skating but without throws and without lifts over the head and without the big jumps and it's basically all about whether a guy and a girl can synchronously pretend to be romantically involved whilst spinning. We appreciate figure skating as a sport! Look! We wrote 2,000 damn words about it!
Anyway, America won, so it's basically the best sport. (YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, CANADA, YOU GOT TWIZZLED. And we were not directly involved in fixing anything so we don't know if it actually happened, do we?)
However, what we really need to talk about is the performance by Russia's Ekaterina Bobrova and Dmitri Soloviev.
Soloviev started out as a puppet:
Creepy as a still -- CREEPIER AS A GIF:
And eventually, Bobrova turned into a puppet: