Omaha (NE) -- Disaster struck downtown Omaha when Lobzilla struck shortly following halftime of Super Bowl XLVIII.
It's said he was pleased with the Seahawks performance and began moving west upon hearing Bruno Mars at halftime, believing his job was done. Citizens are advised to stay in their houses, taking refuge at the lowest point -- preferably in a bathtub or door frame.
Sources tell us he can't be stopped. Lobzilla will soon be arriving at your town. All that's left is to kiss your loved ones goodbye.
Omaha, we hardly knew ye.