(1) Square up to Dwight, and the basket.
Balance is important. Triple threat position!
(2) Proceed directly through Dwight Howard's legs.
The detective's curse. The solution to scoring on Dwight Howard was right in front of our nose.
(3) Here's the easy part: Shoot the dang ball!
Success! Congratulations, you — a toddler! — have just scored on Dwight Howard.
Here, via Deadspin, is the whole plan in action.