I own a pet bird. One of the fun parts of having a pet bird is letting it loose in your home and learning which surfaces lend themselves to bird-perching. Birds like anything they can wrap their talons around that's stable, high off the ground, away from commotion, and well-positioned for surveillance of the scene around them. So, what happens when a bird (a European starling, I think) gets into the Verizon Center during the Wizards-Spurs game? It heads to the backboard!
1. Is it gonna poop all over the backboard? It's probably gonna poop all over the backboard.
2. Did it purchase a ticket? I bet it didn't a purchase ticket. And it's sitting in the best seat in the house. Rude.
3. Why don't the Hawks/Pelicans have a Hawk/Pelican looming atop the basket they're defending during games? It's like having a sixth man out there with you. Who would dare dunk on a basket guarded by a big-ass pelican?