Free t-shirts, they're what make sports tick. An opportunity to obtain gratis cotton has lead to many a drunken dive and much shoving in the stands.
First it was tossing them into a sea of humanity.
Photo via Greg Fiume - Getty Images
A simple but effective way to pass on some merch.
Then we grabbed something stretchy to use as a slingshot. It was a unique idea, but took far too much effort and normally two or three people to adequately stretch the sling to get those suckers into the rafters.
The industrial sports revolution led to the to the pneumatic gun
Photo via Mark J. Rebilas - USA TODAY Sports
Hand-held, compact and completely effective. It appeared we met the zenith of launching shirt long distances with minimal effort.
Oh contraire, dear reader.
We have now graduated to the Gatling gun, and this puppy is on display in Greensboro, NC for the ACC Tournament.
Photo via @joeovies
"Whatever," you might say, "I've seen these Gatling guns before." That is correct, several teams around the country have these t-shirt delivery systems, but lets break down what makes the ACC gun special.
1. The operator looks legitimately fearful about firing this thing.
2. Almost half the arena is curtained off for ticket sales.
3. YES, that means most of the seats are in throwing distance.
Our hope is that the shooter will aim this sucker right into the lower deck seats and Scarface up the joint in a Gildan-fueled bout of mayhem.
There's one thing left in this arms race. Shirt nuke. Yep, shirt nuke.