Baseball season is upon us. You all know what that means. This is the horrifying time of year when children who don't brush their teeth are kidnapped from their beds by Seamhead, who takes them to the land of sorrow to turn their skin into baseballs.
It's unclear where this tradition of "paint your head like a baseball" started. It's probably on some message board for bald men found on a Tor hidden site. This needs to stop, like, right now. It's horrifying, not okay and probably infringing on some Hellraiser copyright.