#Lookit

Missing boy found in bowling alley claw machine

What? No way... no freakin' way.

A simple bowling alley, a time-honored tradition, a chance to do more.

Prophecies foretold of a time when a child would be born in Lincoln, Neb. and refuse to accept his lot in life. Any boy could wait for toys to be delivered to him, passively passing away his existence hoping a bear would fall in his hands by conveyance of a benefactor -- but this child would want more.

The mountain was tall, the road perilous and cramped, "Never stop climbing" the boy told himself, dodging the claw and avoiding plexiglass burns to finally make it to his destiny. He played games the likes of which you'll never play, dreamed dreams those of which you'll never have.

That boy grew up to be Theodore Roosevelt.*

*This is a lie

More from SBNation.com

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join SBNation.com

You must be a member of SBNation.com to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SBNation.com. You should read them.

Join SBNation.com

You must be a member of SBNation.com to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at SBNation.com. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.