It's easy, if not quite fair, to think of the San Antonio Spurs as a collection of swagger-less Alpha Dads. It's not quite wrong, either, but San Antonio's characteristically understated excellence is a sort of swagger in its own right -- a competence so profound that it doesn't need to call attention to itself.
This makes for some great, beautiful basketball, but it does leave the swag-manufacturing to the team's fans. Usually, they're fairly responsible about this. Other times, this happens:
If you were screaming too loud to notice, this is a man who has had alarmingly accurate likenesses of Tony Parker, Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili and
Werewolf Metta World Peace Kawhi Leonard shaved into his head by a barber named Joe Barajas (who, understandably showed off his work on Facebook).
Usually, this sort of extreme aesthetic statement is left to the players, but this is Tim Duncan we're talking about, and Manu Ginobili does not have enough hair left to take these sorts of risks. Kudos to Barajas and the unnamed hair model for stepping up, and sorry about the nightmares you've got coming.