— Andy Boyle (@andymboyle) April 3, 2014
The podium is a magic place where dreams are realized and hard work is rewarded. If you happened to participate in Nebraska's State Speech competition, it's also where vomit happens.
There's a lot going on here, so let's digest it all -- or not, as the case may be.
1. The puking
Vomit happens. It's happened to all of us, it will happen again and it always sucks. The golden rule is never, ever try to stop it. It's impossible, and trying to cover your mouth or barf if your hands is tatamount to sticking your finger in the end of a hose.
2. The podium
Where the heck did an eight person podium come from anyway? Judging from the website for the Nebraska speech competition there were 16 compeditors. At what point did they decided "You know, we really need to honor the top six speakers, but putting eight people on there would be crazy.
3. WHY DOES NOBODY NOTICE?
There are almost always puke warning signs. A gag, a wretch, maybe a "I don't feel good." Sure, this could have been completely spontaneous throw up, but someone please just glance his way.
4. Natural resolution