A robot threw out the first pitch at Wednesday's Diamondbacks game. A robot designed by teenagers.
Who knew that teens and baseball would be the start of humanity's downfall? They've equipped that thing with what amounts to a baseball-slinging trebuchet. If I know anything about history -- and I play an awful lot of Civilization V, so obviously I do -- next they'll come equipped with a baseball-shooting cannon, and after a few centuries, nuclear-powered Giant Death Baseballs will roam the Earth.
All because of teens. Millenials, man.

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