Athlete Twitter is not necessarily the most interesting place. But every now and then, between the rise-and-grind motivations and #hashtag #usage, something important emerges. Every now and then -- not often, but often enough -- Pele announces that a company is making gems out of the carbon molecules in his hair.
A total of 1,283 special gems created from the carbon contained in my hair are now available to my fans around the world,— Pelé (@Pele) May 29, 2014
This is good news indeed, both for Pele fans around the world, and for the hair-diamond market at large. For the few minutes in which this tweet was just sort of hanging around Twitter, with that decidedly un-final comma at the end of it, it was a sort of cosmic riddle. Questions of what and how and why lost any sort of meaning in the face of that wild confluence of words.
The strangeness of it was magnetic, gravitational. There was a chance that none of us would ever escape, and would spend the rest of our days parsing that sentence, wondering how it could possibly end. Then Pele finished it:
with proceeds going to Pequeno Príncipe, the largest pediatric complex in Brazil.— Pelé (@Pele) May 29, 2014
Which is nice. It does not explain how or why these hair diamonds exist, but it's at least nice to know that they're for a good cause.
In unrelated news, there apparently isn't an embeddable video of Jeffrey Tambor screaming "give Pop Pop your hair" from "Arrested Development."