Doug Fister is now in his sixth year as a pitcher in the major leagues, and it is still difficult for us to comprehend the fact that his last name is "Fister." FISTER! Fister. I am told this is funny because it's like a sex thing or something? Who knows.
Anyway, look at these people:
That's a Barelyknower 59 jersey to go along with the Fister 58. You see, he hasn't fisted the person in question, because he barely knows them.
1. Come on, guys, stand in the right order. Right now, this reads "Barely know her? Fist her," which is absolutely horrifying and disturbing. Well, technically, it says "Barelyknower werth fister." Also don't let people stand between you.
2. Y'all got them front row seats so everybody can see your funny joke, huh
3. If you and Fister guy have a falling out, you can still hang out with various other jersey-havers -- Mauer? Barelyknower! Jeter? Barelyknower! Bonser? Hardlyknower! Somebody has a Boof Bonser jersey right.
4. Don't do this, everybody else.