Sammy Sosa sprained his back sneezing. Bill Gramatica tore his ACL celebrating a made field goal. Joel Zumaya hurt his wrist playing too much Guitar Hero.
And Robin van Persie was hurt three days before the start of the World Cup when he was hit by a kite surfer.
The Dutch striker and teammate Daryl Janmaat were injured when they went for a walk on Ipanema beach in Rio de Janeiro, according to RTL. The pair are apparently fine and in no danger of missing the Netherlands' World Cup opener against Spain on Friday, but still, they got hit by a kite surfer.
This is the most Brazil injury ever and the perfect lead-in to a World Cup racked by injuries. Next, Wayne Rooney will get hit by a car because the driver stopped paying attention so he could samba. After that, Andres Iniesta will fall through the pitch because Brazil built the field to be temporary as well. Finally, Lionel Messi will break eight ribs because he is Argentine and Brazil just doesn't like them very much so Messi's ribs, meet crowbar.