#Lookit

The 2014 MLB All-Star Game drinking game

Scott Rovak-USA TODAY Sports

This is completely legitimate and recommended.

Welcome to the 2014 MLB All-Star Game drinking game! You should not do this. But, well, maybe you should. Play along at home!

  1. Zero drinks until you talk to a lawyer about your will

  2. Seriously, put that down

  3. This is for your family's sake

  4. Liquidate your assets (one drink)

  5. Put everything you own into Bitcoin (one drink)

  6. Talk to that lawyer (two drinks)

  7. Put me, Grant Brisbee, as your only heir (one drink)

  8. Trust me, I will distribute everything wisely, but you're still young, so why even worry about it? (one drink)

  9. Take one drink every time Derek Jeter's name is mentioned

  10. Take one drink every time the crowd applauds for Derek Jeter

  11. Take one drink every time the camera catches Jeter looking back at the camera with a warm, steely green gaze that's just for you

  12. Don't forget to drink when they mention Jeter's name (one drink = one shot, not a sip of beer, you're not in high school)

  13. Tell no one about this (one drink)

Play responsibly!

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