Nick Cummins is a legend. I use that in the purely Australian sense of the word to denote a totally awesome, down to earth bloke who really impresses you. On Saturday night the rugby player known affectionately as "The Honey Badger" played his last game for the Western Force before making a shocking move to Japan.
This would be like Carmelo Anthony shunning the NBA to play in Turkey, it's that kind of move -- but it isn't without cause. There isn't a great deal of money in top-flight rugby, even in Australia and Cummins wants to earn as much as he can quickly. Not to build a lavish house or a fleet of cars, but to help his family where his father is dealing with prostate cancer and two of Cummins' siblings who are living with Cystic Fibrosis.
It was an emotional evening, but wholly confusing if you don't speak Australia's unique brand of English, rife with enough jargon that is barely resembles the language we speak. That's why we're here to translate.
"How good's he going? Fair dinkum."
"He's playing really well, seriously."
"Dig a hole and bury me, it couldn't get much better."
"Things are so good that I would be happy to die today."
"Old boy over here came down for the trip, came across the Nullarbor"
My dad traveled to see me play. He went across the Nullarbor plain (which separates South Australia from West Australia).
"Fair dinkum. Caught it, off like a bride's nighty, corner. Celebrations.com. Bloody outstanding."
"Seriously. He caught it, he ran as far as a bride's nightgown comes off on her wedding night and then celebrations.com (this is a Cummins-ism, not an Australian term). Really great play."