Speaking as someone with a beard, sometimes you just gotta grow it out. Shaving is for stupids. But here's a short list of things you don't need to do with a beard:
"Make my beard like a closed umbrella stabbing me through the mouth" RT @DukeOfZamunda: Man you really like those KD pic.twitter.com/h79QzNHONt
— Zach Harper (@talkhoops) July 8, 2014
That's it. That's the end of the list. ALTHOUGH if this fellow was alive in the late 1600s, he could probably do well terrorizing the Caribbean as Swooshbeard the Pirate.
I am having a real good time imagining this guy on the subway, just jabbing people in the eye with the tail of that beardswoosh. Try imagining that. It's a good time.