#Lookit

A farewell to BrooklyKnight, the Brooklyn Nets' awful mascot

The Brooklyn Nets are apparently canning their mascot after two seasons. We will not miss it and its horrible metal face.

As we wait for LeBron James or Carmelo Anthony or ANYBODY! ANYBODY! to make a decision on the NBA free agency market, we received some real NBA news:

"... or worse?!?!?!?!" They might kill this mascot.

As a BrooklyKnight Brooklynite, I have attended two Brooklyn Nets games. And even as somebody who generally is creeped out by mascots, I was perennially disappointed by how bad of a mascot BrooklyKnight was. As Lowe notes, that's not a knock on the silent person in the suit, who did the best he or she could. BrooklyKnight was just an awful, terrible, bad mascot, and I would like to explain why.

1. It is named after a porn star

I have been aware of the fact that BrooklyKnight was named after a porn star since Deadspin wrote this post about it two years ago, and it is the first thing I think about every time.

2. It had no connection to the team name or place where the team plays

The Nets could not have a physical manifestation of a net as their mascot, so they're in a bad place. This is why their New Jersey-era mascot was a coked-out fox named Sly.

They could have gone with something related to New York, or Brooklyn, a melting pot of cultures. Instead, they opted for a dude in armor, something of which there are zero in this city, unless you include the (extremely dope) medieval wing at the Met. Those haven't existed since, like, 1600. Nobody connects with them whatsoever, because nobody walks around in chainmail.

It's justified by the (stretch of a) pun on Brooklyn Net/Brooklynite, which is not nearly a big enough stretch to justify the armor dude.

3. IT DOESN'T HAVE A FACE

MASCOTS NEED FACES, BECAUSE MASCOTS ARE SUPPOSED TO APPEAL TO CHILDREN, AND CHILDREN LIKE THINGS WITH FACES!

20130205_jla_aw8_368.0_medium
Debby Wong, USA Today

THIS DUDE'S COVERED IN METAL TO PREVENT MEDIEVAL SWORDSMEN FROM HARMING HIS BRAIN WITH THEIR SWORDS

IF I WANTED MY KIDS TO DEAL WITH THIS AT A YOUNG AGE I'D BRING THEM TO AN MF DOOM CONCERT, WHICH WOULD IN TURN TEACH THEM A LESSON ABOUT THE DANGERS OF HEIGHTENED EXPECTATIONS

I'D ALSO BE A TERRIBLE PARENT

4. No, seriously, he scared children

As our Nets blog Nets Daily pointed out. BrooklyKnight has an Instagram, which is just littered with images of terrified children

5. This missed dunk

OK that's actually the best thing about BrooklyKnight.

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