The Giants' World Series win has been a windfall occurrence for the headline-writing community -- in fact, some of us have written headlines so catchy that the administrative staff have let us out of our offices' rat-infested cellars to stand around outside for a few minutes. There's a huge light in the sky! It's probably thousands of feet away! Amazing! In pursuit of this reward, some of us have written some pretty desperate headlines.
First, here are a couple of headlines from MLB.com:
"Edgar Rings-eria." That is one real bummer of a headline. I imagine that the responsible party scrawled, "I Don't Practice Renteria, I Ain't Got No Sandoval" and stared at it for 32 minutes before coming up with that one. Sometimes that's how the process works. Anyway, on to the newspapers:
Hugging Harold Reynolds has put together a collection of some of this morning's newspapers from around the country. Some papers have bumped the Giants' win below the fold in favor of something as trite and feckless as the American voting process, which is kind of a drag, but it's encouraging to see that some news outlets have their priorities in order. Some of the headlines:
"Giants Of The World" - The Bakersfield Californian. This headline is really great because it's such an elementary assertion that it could be used for any team except for, perhaps, the Astros and Angels. It can be used to describe anything in the world. "Cement Bucket Of The World." Try it!
"It was still a dream season" - The Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
"Hey Ed, don't you think the headline should actually state what happened?"
"Nah. I'm sure they've already read about it in the paper."
"This is the paper! We work at the paper! This is that!"
"OH NO!" (trips over mop, inadvertently hits large red button that reads, "START PRINTING MACHINES. NOTE: THIS CANNOT BE STOPPED OR REVERSED EVER!")
"I wish we could stop or reverse this somehow."
"We cannot. You are fired."
One could walk away with the impression that the Cleveland Plain Dealer confused Juan Uribe for Edgar Renteria. One could also walk away with the impression that they believe Juan Uribe's name is Juan Sports.
UPDATE: In a somewhat laughable twist, I originally wrote that the man pictured here was Pablo Sandoval. As it turns out, I am the monster.