RESULTS: The Most Expansion Team Player Of All Time

Listen, I feel like a jerk. I told you that I needed help finding the Most Expansion Team Player Of All Time, and I really did. But when I did find him, I found him completely independently. None of you suggested him, and the vetting process in matters such as these is profoundly important.

Trust me, though, when I tell you I have found him. I'll tell you who he is in a minute. First, your (very good) suggestions:

Orestes Destrade. He's too Pirates for my liking. As Pat Lackey pointed out, he didn't play for the Pirates for very long, but the first time I had ever heard of him was the time I pulled his Pirates card out of a pack of 1989 Topps. It was at that moment that I understood the concept of "obscurity." I had never heard the word, mind you. But I knew exactly what it meant.

David Nied. Suggested by tons of people. Unbelievably expansion-y. In the 1990s, of course, the Braves were never lacking in starting pitching talent. David Nied was kind of a bust, but only after the Rockies claimed him at No. 1 in the expansion draft.

The Rockies should have consulted me before drafting him. "Come on. Nobody named David Nied is gonna be an All-Star. Think about it. Also, I know this because I'm from the future." Upon this admittance, the universe would swallow itself. But if there were nothing but void, David Nied would still not be an All-Star pitcher, and I would still be right.

Nigel Wilson. He was my original pick, but strangely enough, Jamie Mottram was the only other person to suggest him. He was the Marlins' first overall pick, and he was so profoundly Charlie Hayes-esque and Charles Johnson-like -- and for reasons that do not and cannot be expressed through written word.

Charlie Hough. Not the very most expansion player, but God bless @MadOnionz for suggesting him. He was 45 years old when he pitched for the Marlins! He had been pitching since 1970! Seeing him in a hip new Marlins uniform was like watching the last ten seconds of a Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercial. You know, when the stodgy old person eats delicious cereal and starts skateboarding and saying things like, "radical"? Oh, nevermind.

Jorge Fabregas. A delightfully elegant pick (he was a journeyman who played 50 games for the '98 Diamondbacks), and perhaps even the correct one. You know who suggested this? Eric Knott, who played for the Diamondbacks in 2001. Surely he sees some things we do not.

Quinton McCracken. He qualifies for a relatively un-romantic reason -- he played for the Rockies, Rays, and Diamondbacks, but the '98 Rays were his only expansion-year team.

The most expansion team player, though, is BRYAN REKAR. And I'll show you why.

Sure, he played for the inaugural Tampa Bay Devil Days, and he also played for the young Rockies. But what makes him more special than, say, Quinton McCracken?

Well.

Note the hat. Note that Rekar never played a game for the Marlins. In fact, I was unable to find any evidence, apart from this photo, that Rekar ever signed with the Marlins, or appeared in a Spring Training game, or anything. I know he was never in their minor league program, at least. It's a mystery that I hope will never be solved.

The crispness of oddity, the finish of mediocrity, and the aftertaste of obscurity. Delicious. Bryan Rekar is the Most Expansion Team Baseball Player.