Jay Gibbons And The Miracle Of Science

Dylan Hernandez:

Gibbons said he got new contact lenses and that he sees significantly better. Old contacts were the wrong size and prescription.

Eye Doctor: Wait a second.
Gibbons: What's the matter?
Eye Doctor: Are these even your contacts?
Gibbons:
I'm wearing them, yeah.
Eye Doctor: No. I mean, were they yours, originally?
Gibbons: Oh, no! They're Kemp's.
Eye Doctor: Kemp?
Gibbons: Matt Kemp.
Eye Doctor: You're wearing Matt Kemp's contacts?
Gibbons: Yeah, he gave me some.
Eye Doctor: You can't do that.
Gibbons: He said I could.
Eye Doctor: You can't wear other people's contacts. They won't work.
Gibbons: What do you mean?
Eye Doctor: Everybody needs different contacts.
Gibbons: I thought contacts took words and made them readable.
Eye Doctor: Just take those out and try these.
Gibbons: Well, all right.
Gibbons: /removes old contacts
Gibbons: /inserts new contacts
Gibbons: Whoa!
Eye Doctor: Better?
Gibbons: I mean, God damn.
Eye Doctor: See, these contacts are specifically suited for you.
Gibbons: I can see EVERYTHING.
Gibbons: You have a beard!
Eye Doctor: Did you drive here?
Gibbons: /holds hands in front of face, stares at them

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