I'm not one hundred percent positive, but I'm pretty sure that Nationals' shortstop Ian Desmond is not a fan of MLB Network's Brian Kenny.
Brian Kenny makes me want to take a Chapman heater to the eye socket. #uncle— Ian Desmond (@IanDesmond20) May 20, 2013
Kenny, of course, is the avatar for the pro-statistics crowd on MLB Network, of which it might be safe to say that Desmond is not a part of. That, or he's a real stickler for cadence, and Kenny's just isn't doing it for him. Aroldis Chapman, of course, owns a socket-crushing fastball, so let's hope Desmond's cable provider doesn't hold him to his word in order to remove MLB Network from his package.
On an editorial note, let's just be happy I didn't make the headline, "Ian Desmond at war with WAR" or "Ian Desmond wants to know what WAR is good for and also this pun is original."