Let's talk about Adrian Beltre (and his head)

Jeff Gross

Adrian Beltre has a fear of having his head touched, as you know. It's just one more item in a long list of things that make him hilariously awesome.

We need to talk about Adrian Beltre. Something -- well, multiple things -- he did last night have given us the perfect opportunity to have a chat about Beltre, and why he's the best. We'll get to those things in a minute, but in order to do so we need context. Just know that Beltre is your favorite player, even if you don't realize it yet.

There are many reasons why Beltre is the best -- some serious, some not-so-serious. We're going to run down a few of them, and at the end there's a few hilarious GIFs from Saturday night. You can read through everything or skip to the end. Your choice.

Let's talk about Red first. Red is Beltre's biggest fan. I'm pretty confident in that statement, despite not knowing the lay of the land when it comes to Beltre fans. Why, you ask? Well, there are many reasons.

This is Red. He's pretty awesome and a massive fan of Mr. Beltre's. He has a huge, 4-foot Beltre bobblehead. He made a massive Beltre-head sign and held it up Say Anything-style.

Beltre is awesome because he not only acknowledged Red, but gave him a bat. It was a moment that made Red's day/week/month/life. Beltre is a neat dude (seriously, look at Red's face).

And then there are the antics. Beltre is like an adorable puppy on the field. He gets himself into mischief, and how he gets out of it is the greatest. His antics are aplenty, and many have become recurring things in the world of Beltre.

For example, he appeals to first base ... as a batter. He gets off balance, but still hits a dinger off of one knee (this isn't the only time he's done it; it's actually like his thing). He has trouble with sliders low and away, so he does this little happy dance to try and lay off swinging at them. Pretty sure he was thinking about hitting the ball twice here.

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Of course he laughs at cameramen who fall. He engages in playful back-and-forths with ex-teammates while a game is in progress.

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To be serious for a moment, Beltre is also a tough, tough man. When he was with the Mariners, he tore a testicle. No, really: Tore the damn thing. It was the size of a grapefruit. And he finished the game -- a 14-inning game.

The reason we're here, though, is Beltre's reaction to having his head touched. If you haven't seen it, here's the collection of Beltre head rub GIFs. He hates having his head touched, and reacts in hilarious fashion. It's so weird, yet so amazing.

All of this is to provide context for the latest in a long line of amazing Beltre GIFs. This was last night, against the Mariners. During a meeting on the mound, Elvis Andrus touched Beltre's head.

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But Beltre wasn't done. Just a short time later, this happened:

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(via @DShep25)

This wasn't the first time Beltre has done the "call off a teammate then give him a death stare" move, either. Hey, here's a pretty similar situation! It's just another one of his things.

Beltre is the absolute best. I wish he was still in a Mariners uniform, just so I could watch his amazing antics every night. And he should most certainly be your favorite player.

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