#Lookit

Barry Bonds to stand in front of an angry, rabid Pittsburgh crowd

Richard Mackson-US PRESSWIRE

Or: Great moments in burying the lede

The Pirates sent out a press release with the following title:

Pirates Homestand Highlights March 31 - April 6

That sounds pleasant. I love highlights.

The Pirates will welcome back the team's former N.L. Most Valuable Players as Dick Groat and Barry Bonds will present Andrew McCutchen his 2013 MVP award

Barry Bonds will present Andrew McCutchen his 2013 MVP award

Barry Bonds

Barry Bonds in front of Pirates fans on Opening Day, smiling as boos rain down, chuckling and playing the wrestling villain, a role at which he's absolutely fantastic. Barry Bonds touching something, then handing it to Andrew McCutchen, possibly infecting him with contagious, weaponized surly. Barry Bonds in Pittsburgh.

Dunno, maybe they'll cheer! Could happen, right? Right?

You're going to call in sick on Opening Day anyway, so don't forget to tune into the Pirates game early. If they don't show it on TV, write your congressperson.

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