Portland Timbers vs. D.C. United: Final Score 1-1, Zzzzzzz

Hunter Martin - Getty Images

This might have been a soccer match but apparently nobody bothered to tell the participants for a while. DC United and the Portland Timbers battled it out to a fairly dire 1-1 draw at Jeld-Win Field, with both teams scoring in the second half. Approximately nothing of interest (unless you're particularly fascinated by the fact that Hayner Mosquera was forced off with an injury in the 25th minte) happened for the first hour, but then David Horst stuck his arms into the air and deflected a Perry Kitchen cross, leading to a controversial penalty.

Despite the home side's protests, Chris Pontius stepped up to the spot and slammed past Joe Bendik, who despite guessing the right way had no chance whatsoever. The goal spurred Portland into conducting the occasional attack, and it was Bright Dike who drew them level, slamming home from an acute angle after a very poor clearance from Andy Najar. With DCU in the middle of a playoff race and the other teams in the East winning, a draw wasn't really a good enough result. Apparently, the visitors didn't get that message, because it was the Timbers who were the most threatening side for the remainder of the match, such as it was.

A bit of a yawner, in other words.

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