Digger, Fox Sports' über-annoying cartoon gopher, is going to "have a much better year this year," according to Fox Sports president David Hill.
Hill went on a bizarrely funny monologue about Digger during a conference call with reporters on Thursday morning. He began by saying Digger's cameo in the "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie sent the gopher into a spiral of celebrity excess.
"Digger had a bad year last year," Hill said. "You know what happens when someone suddenly hits the big time. He had an agent, started hanging out with Charlie Sheen. He wouldn't talk to me. Kept changing agents. He went to rehab.
"It was the medicinal turnips. I think now he's more contrite, he's seen the error of his ways and he's going to have a much better year this year. He moved back to Talladega and left Hollywood."
Continuing his fantasy, Hill took the blame for Digger's downfall and he overreacted as "as a stage father working the little guy on his way to stardom."
"I don't want to say I'm the same as the Cyrus family, but I do feel responsibility, yes," Hill said. "He and I are in therapy at the moment."
We can only assume this means Digger will still appear on Fox's NASCAR broadcasts.