Howie Mandel is funny. Brian Scott is funny. This is what happened when Scott, a Nationwide Series driver for Joe Gibbs Racing, tried to teach Mandel what to say in order to start today's NASCAR race at Fontana (Mandel is the grand marshal for the Royal Purple 300).
Howie: "This is my first time ever at NASCAR. Never been."
Brian: "You have no idea what you're doing?"
Howie: "No, somebody said just make a left."
Brian: "No, actually you're not making any turns."
Howie: "I'm not making any turns."
Brian: "You're going to get us riled up and ready to go. Normally, you'd say 'Gentlemen, start your engines.' But there's a female in the field, so you've got to say something like (starts yelling), 'DRIIIIIVERS....START....YOUR....ENGINES!!!!!'"
Howie: "Why are you yelling? I'm right here."
Brian: "Because you've got to yell. Otherwise, we can't hear you."
Howie: "Oh, OK. So there's a woman driving today?"
Brian: "There is a woman in the field, you can't say 'Gentlemen.' She might forget to start her engine. You gotta make sure you include everybody."
Howie: "OK, I will. And are you going to be racing?"
Brian: "I'm going to be racing, yeah. So I'm going to go off you. When you say that, I'm going to go, 'Vrooooom.'"
Howie: "You're just going to do that with your mouth, or your actual car?"
Brian: "No, I'm going to do that with my mouth."
Howie: "Oh. See, cause when I was a little kid, I used to play with racing cars and I didn't know you could actually do that."
Brian: "Yes, we still do that: 'Vrooooom.' We're just bigger kids with bigger cars."
Howie: "Oh, OK. Well, good luck to you. What number is your car?"
Howie: "11, OK. Well, we'll be watching for you. You feeling good about today? ... Shouldn't you be preparing instead of talking to me? What preparation goes into this?"
Brian: "Nah, I got nothin' else to do. I'm playing Scrabble with my mother on my iPad."
Howie: "Wow, you take all the glamour out of the behind-the-scenes thing. He's playing Scrabble with his mother. OK, alright. You would think a race-car driver would be doing something dangerous."
Brian: "It is dangerous. Have you ever met my mother? She's over there."
Howie: "Let's talk about the race, not your mother."
Brian: "... So you know what you're doing? You want to give it a try?"
Howie: "Yes. Driver...start your Scrabble!"