Texts Ur Friend Sent U From NASCAR Talladega Race

You have this one buddy who goes to sporting events and decides it's always a GREAT idea to send you tons of updates about the cool experience you're NOT having.

Well, unfortunately for you, your friend attended Sunday's NASCAR race at Talladega and texted you the following updates from the track:

hay what's up man!! RACE DAY at Dega babyyyy. i'm still drunk from last night haha

Campground was off the CHAIN last night!!! cinco de drinko if you know what i mean!! you shoulda come with us!!

tent is soaked. Think it's raining??? or might be from the ladys droolin' all over me in the infield!! awww yeahhhhh

Actually it is raining. And man I couldn't get no ladys. I tried but damn! I don't get it, aren't I a good-lookin' dude?? don't answer that haha

saw lots o' titties on talladega blvd tho!

Mostly man titties lol damn

LMAO just saw a guy in a Kyle DOUCHE shirt fall on his ass in the rain! He deserves it for liking Kyle DOUCHE!!!

haha screw you! just cause you don't have a sense of humor doesnt mean it ain't a funny nickname bro

Thinkin today is the day for junior. Dale.Damn.JUNIOR!!!!!!! just stocked up on Diet Dew crap so i can say i bought it the day he won.

HAY save this text for later so I can say I CALLED IT when Junior wins, k?

just heard some chick say race is gonna be delayed. i said AWESOME cause that gives me time for more BEER

i wonder who invented beer?? I could kiss that guy. Like Ricky Bobby and the french dood!! hahaha

WUT???? Kurt DOUCHE is driving the car from Talladega Nights??? OMG hadnt heard that

wow for a second there I almost liked kurt busch. wtf is wrong with me haha

GREEEEEEEN FLAGGGGGGGGG!!!! you really should have come with us man. this is the best thing ever

Hay you watchin this man? mikey waltrip is winning!!! i love mikey, man. dude is HILARIOUS. his car looks like a birthday cake ahaha

do you hear the storm a comin.......??? Its JUNIOR TIME AT DEGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUNIOR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE IS WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gahhhhhhhhhhhh

I TOLD YOU!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, shit. he fell back to like 24th.

think i might root for the Ricky bobby car. i mean, this doesn't mean I have to like kurt douche forever right? just for today i think it's OK. right?

haha this is awesome!!!! just heard kurt busch say Shake n bake!!!!! that just happened

oh f you man, i am not a kurt busch fan now. u suck. I TOLD u just for TODAY

HAY have you seen me on TV yet? i'm wearing a green Dick Dew hat

*DIET Dew not dick. stupid autocorrect

damn WTF, no wrecks yet. this sucksss. hope there's a BIG ONE soon. as long as junior aint in it haha

aint hardly any wrecks in NASCAR lately. more like NAS-BORE, am i right?

OHHHHHHH there it is!!! I TOLD YOU it was coming!!!! big ol pileup

what r u talking about! yes I DID call it. ur a dumbass man, check ur texts!

whatever

damn the ladys look good in the stands today. can't believe ur missing this

haha brad krashalotski is winning. u watching? 30 to go!

WHAT THE HELL!!!!! Krashalotski just spun out Ricky Bobbys car!!!!! YOU SUCK KRASHALOTSKI!!!!!!

so??? i don't even know what that MEANS. you say hes "cool because he tweets pics from his car?" I'm not even ON twitter. that's for nerds like you and krashalotski

dang looks like Matt Kenseth is going to win. FIGURES. everyone knows nascar tries to help Roush get wins because he bribes 'em.

What do you mean "what about Richmond." u are so clueless dude, I've been following this sport my WHOLE LIFE. pretty sure i know what i'm talking about

whatever. u owe me a beer when jayski reports i'm right

WHOAAAA huge crash!!!!! DId u see that!!! Dummy Hamlin wrecked Allmenwhatshisface. haha i dunno how to spell it.

man ur really starting to PISS ME OFF. I don't CARE what you saw on the replay. UR AT HOME. I AM HERE. AT DEGA. OK??? I SAW IT. HAMLINS FAULT GAME OVER CASE CLOSED I'M RIGHT

Awwwww damn tony stewart was in it too. i like SMOKE. he puts those dumbass reporters in theyre place and always agrees with the fans. Man of the people!!!!!

green white checkered baby!!!!!! You know what THAT MEANS??? JUNIOR TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE WE GO

what happened to Junior???? he's not getting up there!!!! DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

UH OH. kyle DOUCHE is behind krashalotski!! he's gonna win from second on the last lap!!! oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit

noooooooooooooooo NOT KYLE

oh phew. well your boy Krashalotski won. well maybe he'll "tweet you" about it, whatever the hell that means. NERDS

Hay dumbass, call me when u get tired of TWEETING people and I'll show you how to root for a REAL driver. DEW IT 88!!!

whatever