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Houston Rockets' Dikembe Mutombo (55), left, congratulates Aaron Brooks (0) after Brooks made a basket against the Golden State Warriors in the fourth quarter of an NBA basketball game on Friday, April 10, 2009, in Oakland, Calif. The Rockets won 113-109. (AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)

SB Nation Originals

NBA Talking Points: Where The Little Guys Get Some Love

In Week 3 of NBA Talking Points, Andrew Sharp looks at the NBA's smallest players, Lebron James' newest publicity stunt, and the greatest set of trading cards ever. Plus: The legend of Nicholas Cage.

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Constantly updated with quick takes from the staff.

Dwight Howard To Stan Van Gundy: 'Chill Out, Bro'

Okay, so Dwight Howard didn't utter those exact words, but he certainly told his coach to stop being such a Negative Nancy.

Brian Schmitz of the Orlando Sentinel reports:

Orlando Magic superstar Dwight Howard told the Sentinel on Thursday that he asked Stan Van Gundy in a private meeting to quell what he perceived as the coach's recurring negativity.

The fiery, demanding Van Gundy confirmed that he met with Howard, who was speaking on behalf of the team.

"I think, as a team, there was a lot of negativity and it's not like Stan's a negative guy," Howard said before the Magic left for Boston to face the Celtics on Friday night. "But it's like there's always some clashes and focusing so much on our mistakes. Instead of bringing each other down, we have to pull each other up.

"That's the only thing I wanted from coach."

Van Gundy said Howard was right and vowed to curb his negativity in the future.

I'm of two minds on this.  On the one hand, Van Gundy didn't become one of the league's best coaches by being a beacon of positive energy.  Coaching his way has allowed his teams to overachieve -- nobody expected him to lead Orlando to the NBA Finals last year.  On the other hand, you can only scream at players so long until they tune you out in the NBA, in which case you're probably going to be looking for another coaching job in the near future.

Bottom line: I wouldn't want to be a coach in the NBA.  So much pressure, so little job security, so little real power in a league controlled by superstars.

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Did J.J. Redick Just Redeem Himself?

As the current decade comes to a close and we brace for a series of retrospectives, it’s worth asking: who was the most hated athlete of the last ten years? If not number one, J.J. Redick’s certainly in the conversation. Deservedly so.

But in today’s column for the Orlando Magic’s website, John Denton got one quote out of J.J. that was pure brilliance:

“We’re a small market, so we’re going to get less attention. Plus, we don’t have LeBron. Seriously, if the guy (James) said tomorrow that he was going to run for President, (CNN’s) Anderson Cooper would be on SportsCenter for 30 minutes talking about why he’d make a good president.”

As social criticisms go, this is actually quite astute. For one, he’s pointing out that Lebron benefits from untold amounts of hype. But also, he’s making fun of ESPN’s tendency to gravitate toward ridiculous stories involving a select group stars. And is he making fun of Anderson Cooper?

Say, what’s that? Could Lebron James Play For The Browns?! [/actual SporsCenter video]

So, yes. For just one day, J.J. Redick made the rest of us forget why we hated him so much. Ironic, though, since as a star player for ESPN’s favorite son, he used to benefit from the exact same treatment. And THAT's why we hated him.

Need help remembering? Check it out. The poetry starts at the 5-minute mark.

(HT: 3QC)

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Mike Dunleavy Thinks Six Years Isn't Enough Time To Judge Him

Here’s the deal with NBA coaches: if your name isn’t Phil Jackson, Gregg Popovich or Jerry Sloan, you almost never get more than five years to prove yourself. That’s just how it is.

Apparently, Mike Dunleavy didn’t get that memo. He’s entering his seventh year with the morbid franchise, but he actually believes he deserves more time to prove himself.

Dunleavy’s main argument for keeping his job entailed giving him a chance to coach a complete lineup, which is without Blake Griffin (stress fracture in left knee), Eric Gordon (strained left groin), Kareem Rush (season-ending anterior cruciate ligament injury to his right knee) and Marcus Camby (lower-back bruise.

“When’s the last time you ever saw an interim coach come in and the team be successful and make a playoff run?” Dunleavy said after Thursday’s practice. “It’s not happening. Nobody knows these guys better than I know them. Give a coach a chance to coach Eric Gordon and Blake Griffin. After that, fine. Let the chips fall where they may.”

To review: Dunleavy coaching record with the Clippers is 198-307. But sure, it’s all because of injuries.

In a related story, Clippers fans have started a petition to get Dunleavy fired (HT: Ball Don’t Lie). Perhaps they can now add “lack of self-awareness” to the list of grievances.

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Jayson Williams Is Going To Jail

Once upon a time, Jayson Williams was known as one the NBA’s best rebounders.

More recently, he’s known as the guy who accidentally shot a limousine driver outside his home. Now, seven years after the incident occurred, Williams has accepted a plea bargain and could serve up to three years in prison.

Former NBA star Jayson Williams has agreed to accept a deal in the 2002 accidental shooting death of a limousine driver at his home, according to multiple reports.

The Associated Press reported Thursday that Williams agreed to a plea deal for aggravated assault that would send him to prison for at least 18 months and up to three years.

I promised myself I wouldn’t go into a rant about our legal system, but how does Williams get up to three years and Donte’ Stallworth gets … okay, okay, I’ll stop.

Shaq Is So Post-Modern, Insufferable

According to the New York Post, Shaq is in the process of putting together an art show. And how ’bout that title!

Shaquille O’Neal is curating his first art show, charmingly titled “Size DOES Matter.” The 7-foot-1 Cleveland Cavalier is putting together the show featuring large pieces of contemporary art, including works by Maurizio Cattelan, Andreas Gursky and Ron Mueck’s sculpture of a naked, hairless giant called “Untitled.”

Shaq told Bloomberg News curating was like playing basketball: “I have a responsibility to the artists, who are my ‘teammates.’ We all have to make each other look good — no different than what I do on the court.”

As an aside, The only thing more ARTISTIC than an inexplicable, gigantic naked sculpture is its name. “Untitled.” It’s whatever you want it to be.

Kind of like Shaq. Is he a sheriff? A museum curator? An aging center? Or kind of a terrible person? It all depends on your perspective…

(HT: Ben Maller)

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Garnett: 'Eightyfeet Is Possibllllleeee!'

This video’s title, “Kevin Garnett from Half Court,” doesn’t really do it justice. It’s laughable, actually. More like “Kevin Garnett from 80 feet.”

The shot didn’t count, it turns out, but no matter. Because it was an EIGHTY FOOT SHOT. Good lord. And it makes you wonder: if someone like KG can just casually hoist up a shot like that and have it hit all net, imagine what NBA players can do in a heated game of horse. Is this commercial real?

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'Totally Bulls 80's' Might Be The Best Thing Ever

Via Skeets and a whole batch of Twitter folks, some of whom were passing this video around last week, comes "Totally Bulls 80's," an ingenious marketing gimmick that must be seen to be believed:

The best is probably Aaron Gray, previously known as the White Panther, signing Boy George's classic "Karma Chameleon." But really, who could choose? It's all amazing.

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Typos And NBA Sacrilege

Bill Simmons' Book of Basketball has been bandied about all over the internet in the past few weeks, but today, one man levies a criticism that's far more grave than citing his "blantat homerism," "reliance on the same six movies as a rhetorical crutch," and its climatic "threadbare wisdom." No this is serious:

Simmonstypo1_medium_medium

Drexler's Pistons?!? Blazersedge provides a closer look:

Simmonstypo2_medium

Typos happen.  All. The. Time.  But, man, that's a tough one to swallow.  Brutal.  Anyone remember those great Larry Bird-led Lakers teams?  What about Bill Russell's Warriors? My favorite teams of all time had to be Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's Celtics.

And in a bit of perfect irony, Bill Simmons will be signing books at Portland's Rose Garden tonight. Who do the Blazers play? You guessed it, the Detroit Pistons. For those going, Blazersedge has some advice:

If you do go to his book signing, I suggest asking him to correct and autograph page 609.

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Kwame Brown Continues To Be A Walking Punchline

It’s safe to say that Kwame Brown hasn’t exactly lived up to expectations as a former number one pick. It’s also safe to say that Kwame himself probably knows it.

Maybe that’s why he took this in stride.

Did the Lakers send a championship ring to Kwame Brown?

“What?” Brown responded when asked the question Tuesday night.

Did you get a ring from the Lakers?

“Man, you know the answer to that,” Brown said, smiling.

“Why should I get one? I wasn’t here.”

True, but Brown played a role in the Lakers winning the NBA championship last season.

After all, Brown was the trade bait the Lakers used to acquire Pau Gasol, who played a big role in the Lakers’ championship.

You know it’s bad when out of town reporters are going out of their way to remind you that your only NBA claim to fame is being traded for Pau Gasol.

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LeBron James Makes Monta Ellis Wish He Was Traded Yesterday

Because if he had been, he wouldn't have had to suffer this:

LeBron is the best player in the world. There is little debate now. But there's even less debate about the fact that he is No. 1 in the world at coming out of nowhere and blocking shots no human should have any business blocking. It's magical.

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The Latest NBA Conspiracy Theory

Remember the impassioned debate over whether Greg Oden or Kevin Durant should have been the top pick in the draft? Since then, Durant has ascended into the firmament of the NBA's elite, while Oden has been mired in mediocrity, largely due to to his inability to stay on the court. Last year Oden averaged a foul every 5.5 minutes, en route to a disappointing (relative to the outsized expectations) season. This year? Oden is once again racking up the fouls at a prodigious rate of one every 5.8 minutes.

This has led one Blazers fan to start a "Free Oden" YouTube channel, compiling a greatest hits collection of dubious calls against the franchise's would-be star. But really, NBA refs wouldn't go on a deliberate campaign to sabotage a highly touted young player's career...what's that? Let's roll the tape:

On second thought, maybe this is the new NBA CONSPIRACY THEORY: the league office wants Portland fans to despise their franchise for passing on once-in-a-generation wingmen in favor of big men with injury issues. You are a wily one, David Stern. 

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When It Rains, It Pours In Golden State

Yesterday's Stephen Jackson trade might just be the first step in a rapid deconstruction of the Golden State Warriors as we once knew them.  San Jose Mercury News columnist Tim Kawakami is now reporting that Monta Ellis, the team's best player, may be next.

It seems Ellis has been rumored to be on the block about 500 times in the last two years, so perhaps this isn't news.  But what changed this time?

Two sources say that Nelson embarrassed Ellis when Ellis tried to step into a leadership role in the aftermath of the 28-point home loss to the Clippers on Nov. 6.

The sources describe the scene in the post-game locker room: Ellis, as a co-captain, began loudly addressing to his teammates, telling them that this performance could not be tolerated.

But then Nelson came into the room and told Ellis to be quiet.

Speaking to reporters a few minutes later, Ellis was near-tears.

I certainly understand Ellis' frustration in this situation -- if you don't let him speak up, who on the team does?  Then again, why should Ellis be a team leader when he jeopardized his career and let down his team by foolishly riding a moped and getting into an accident, a la Jay Williams.  So ... is it possible for both sides to be right and wrong at the same time?  Only when the Warriors are involved, apparently.  For what it's worth, Golden State of Mind's reader poll is split down the middle between trading Ellis and keeing him.

The bottom line is that Ellis needs a change of scenery.  Bethlehem Shoals of The Baseline writes that Ellis is a "a basketball player who makes basketball plays, and he should be starring somewhere."  He's right.  Hopefully, Ellis ends up in a better situation, where he can show why he was once one of the league's rising stars.

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