"Combo's the word. Like a combo meal? KFC Combo meal. You gotta get a two piece, plus extra biscuits, to describe what he do."
As far as describing KG's impact, I would have gone for the Swiss Army knife analogy. Like an older, rusty Swiss Army knife with dulled blades. Still capable of doing some damage though.
But alas, Delonte's mind was on KFC. We should have known. He's got a history here.
Remember his seven-minute freestyle in the parking lot of KFC? Of course you do!
(Yes, I realize I've got the most ridiculous job in the world).
Anyway, I took the liberty of transcribing my favorite verse (his hype man in parens):
I get the combo package with the original recipe,
and the parfait (uh),
strawberry sometiiimes chocolate (uh),
and the apple pies, macaroni cheese (cheeeeeese),
with the rasberry (what?!),
iced teeeeea (teeeeeea),
got the big jug (juuuug),
check my mug (muuuuug), check my swag (swaaggg),
put hot sauce in my bag (bagggggg),
hot sauce in my bag (extra)
hot sauce in my baagggg (extra)
hot sauce in my baaaaaggggggg (extra)
hot sauce in my baaaaaaaaggggg (extra)
So, clearly, we're talking about a man with an intimate knowledge of the KFC menu. The sort of man that views the world through a "KFC Lens," if you will. Which is great until Doc Rivers calls for him to "Double Down" on the post, and then things can get confusing.
In any case, while we're here, let's go ahead and make it clear that if KG is the two-wing combo with biscuits, then Rajon Rondo is chicken strips, Big Baby is a mashed potato bowl, Nate Robinson is the KFC Snacker, Ray Allen is a grilled chicken wing, Paul Pierce is 3 wings of Original Recipe, Kendrick Perkins is two gigantic breasts with no flavor, Luke Harangody is a biscuit, and Shaquille O'Neal is KFC's Mac & Cheese, because it always sounds like a better idea than it is. And Rasheed Wallace is just really, reeeeeally high right now, trying to figure out the KFC drive thru window.
And now I just want to go meet 'Sheed at KFC, so we'll stop there.
But for the record, Delonte West started all of this. Get that man an endorsement deal, KFC.