Blake Griffin Will Revive The Dunk Contest, Split The Earth In Half

When asked about the 2011 Dunk Contest in Los Angeles this February, Blake Griffin responded, "If it's something that the league wants me to do, I'll probably try to do it."


The Dunk Contest has been on life support for so long that "the dunk contest is on life support" almost goes without saying at this point. But that doesn't mean a few superstars can't infuse it with a whole new life. And yeah, the "Sprite Slamdunk Showdown" may have been all hype and commercials in recent years, but like Shaq says, "Blake Griffin is the truth."


Still, half of Griffin's appeal is the sheer force of his dunks, especially in the face of helpless opponents. If he wants to match that effect in an exhibition setting, he'll have to get creative...

He touched on this in the interview with's Steve Aschburner:

I really don't work on them a lot. If it turns out I'm going to do it, I'll try to think of something creative.

But Blake's the talent. He shouldn't have to do all the work. And with that in mind, here are a few ideas to help make Blake's first entry in the dunk contest a showcase for the ages.

1. Re-Create the Dunk on Timofey Mozgov. But this time, do it over three Mozgovs. That's right; since it's unrealistic that Mozgov would be willing to participate, anyway, Griffin should hire three gawky white guys to play Mozgov. It's Los Angeles; finding available stunt doubles shouldn't be a problem. Then, put them in full Knicks uniforms, bring them out to the court, and viciously dunk over all three. You think I'm kidding? Imagine how cool (or magnificently cruel) this would be with two extra helpless-looking Russians:

2. Put on a Sonics Shawn Kemp Jersey and Re-Create His Flip/Reverse Jam from '91. You can see the dunk here. Not earth-shattering, but this would be a great nod to all the Shawn Kemp comparisons, a safe dunk for the early rounds, and an irresistible opportunity to make David Stern shift uncomfortably in his courtside seat for thirty seconds. (As a matter of fact, it would be cool if Blake just rocked the Kemp jersey all night, no matter what dunks he chooses).

3. Or He Could Dunk Over A Gigantic Television. Or a projection screen, maybe. Either way, if Blake is sick of the Shawn Kemp comparisons, he could wheel a projection screen under the basket, have it play Shawn Kemp's top 10 dunks on a continuous loop, and then he could viciously kick through the screen as he dunks, sending sparks flying, and reminding everyone that the next generation is here, and more powerful than ever. ... BAD. ASS.

4. Post-Racial Slamdunk Champ. Bring his white mother and black father to the court, and dunk over them in round one. Bring Brent Barry and Dee Brown to the court and dunk over them AND the parents in Round Two. And then in the finals, bring out Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes, and dunk over all the three couples. Welcome to the future, America.

Wesley Snipes is in jail, you say? Fine. If he's not out by All-Star Weekend, just get Omar Epps.

5. Mimic Gerald Green's Birthday Cake Routine. And then bring the cupcake to Baron Davis, who will inevitably be front-and-center with the rest of the players courtside. Why? Because there's no better time to make Baron feel fat than on National TV, with all his peers watching.

6. Simple: Dunk Over Donald Sterling. Self-explanatory, and even better if it's completely against Sterling's will and/or Blake "inadvertently" kicks him in face. And you thought we'd seen it all...


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