So, apropos of absolutely nothing, here's a photo of a 12 year-old Kobe Bryant in Italy.
As he could be heard saying off camera...
"The two mop-tops behind me? Ship their asses out."
"Mr. Smiles in the middle? Ship his ass out."
"Coach in the back? Ship his ass out."
"Who gave the ball to that husky, Shrek-lookin dude? Hey, ship his ass out TWICE."
"When did Michael Jackson perform with New Kids on the Block? I guess I missed that album. (cough) SHIP 'EM OUT. Ship. Them. OUT."
But hey, as fun as it is imagining Kobe's pre-pubescent trade demands, anytime someone wonders why Kobe's so bizarre, just remember--he's the kid that grew up in Italy, then graduated to visiting with Michael Jackson and hanging out with Kanye West in the studio. Enough said.